I think that I’ve hit a low right now.
The first time I get a shot to actually do what I love the most and the world screws me over. It really has…I got the chance to shoot a multimillion dollar golf company and work with a man who has mad advertisements for Walmart and Geico. How does the world decide to just brutally fuck me?
Well, it decides to fuck up the thing I love most, my car. I have absolutely no means of transportation or the ability to go shoot. If that weren’t enough, I can’t visit my girlfriend. So I guess this relationship has now turned into a long distance relationship. If I was a coward, a low life faggot, a selfish asshole, I would honestly kill myself. Honestly I would. I’d o and run in traffic and pray I’d get hot by a semi. But do I want to plunge the few people that care about into a world of misery? No…I just have to somehow get back onto my horse and somehow idk…I’m just all kinds of fucked up….I need my pandabear with me:\
That feel you get when your girlfriend buys you an assortment if sweets.
In covered in a capsule of smoke.
My barrier is up for an unknown reason.
I have someone I care about.
I have someone that cares about me.
But I’m still uncertain about something.
A reason that I’m blind to.
The scent is getting stronger…
It’s gotten tithe point where I’m exhaling a black cloud.
Her voice is a beacon in this smoke.
But it’s fading.
Why is it fading…
Everything went swell Thursday night.
What else is there to say?
Not much I suppose.
Still not at the point where we think it might work.
But at least we appreciate each others company.
That’s all that matters at this point. Which is fine, I just over think things.
Okay, I’m never really on this anymore….
This is that girl I’ve been talking about. The one I’m dating.
We’ve been dating since the 12th…
Idk things are great, I can’t complain. The only thing that sort of bums me out is that we see each other once, maybe twice a week if we’re lucky.
We’ve been into each other since November and web we started dating, neither of us got that, wow, we’re dating feel.
I guess that’s good since I still treat her like she’s a queen.
But anywho…lately things have been rough.
She has this whole idea in her mind that I deserve better. That I deserve someone that likes me as much as I like her. :\
Another thing, we barely talk on the phone.
I mean we text constantly, so, does it meant that by the time we get to talk that we have exhausted all topics? Or do we just go over what we’ve talked about.
Anywho, I’ve spent the night reassuring her that she’s doing good. Sucks cause I think my time with her is almost up. I really don’t want it to be :\
Ready to kick some ass at tonight’s concert!
And the almighty
LAMB OF GOD
Smoking hookah and talking to myself…
Totally not weird…
Not at all…
I’m going to give myself a mental disorder…
The fact that I’m meeting someone I feel is just like me tomorrow is just making me anxious…I’m attracted to this person, it’s just making feel ajenshdbejijd….she appreciates my morbidly dry humor…she trolls me whenever she can and loves to rustle my jimmies.
I hope she likes me or at least feels attracted to me…